When Did Being Black Mean….

In Attitudes on February 1, 2010 at 12:02

That you had to live in the hood? That you had to mangle the English language? That you thought you were better than everyone else because you dared to strive for more than a dime above rent money?

How many times have you heard of a black person that did well going back into their community and the people there belittled him saying he thought he was better than them? I find this funny, not funny ha ha but funny in a sad way. We applaud when someone black is extraordinary but not when they are excellent. What if Michael Jordan had decided that he wanted to be a Math Professor since his degree is in math? What if he’d done really well and created a foundation and gave back to the community. How many people would have begrudged him because he was in a manner of speaking excellent instead of extraordinary?  How many would have questioned whether he thought he was better than them?  How many would have said “we don’t need charity from this uppity N*****?  You know you’ve heard it and God forbid you may have even said it.  When I was a kid, my mother referred to people that had this mindset as “crabs in a barrel” always wanting to pull one another down.  What is it about that person that makes you want them to fail other than the color of their skin?

We seem to get excited when people do what we feel we cannot but in order for them to get there, they had to be excellent first.   How can we get to the Micheal Jordans, the Williams Sisters & the President Obamas without first being excellent.  Doesn’t excellence have to come before extraordinary?

We seem ready to embrace ignorance, poverty and self hatred more readily than find a more positive alternative.  I have often wondered what Dr. King would think of all his hard work in the new millineum of black America.  I wonder what Fredrick Douglas would think?   Mary McLeod Bethune?  There are times when I feel the pioneers worked for nothing.  We put more emphasis on athletic prowess than we do on a real education.  If Michael Jordan had in fact become a math professor, we would think much less of him even if he were earning the same income.  Why is that?  There are people that literally died so that we could get a great education yet, being smart in our community generally speaking is looked upon now as a detriment not a benefit.  Then we have the audacity when we are called out on it.  Bill Cosby took a lot of heat for saying what many of us that are tired of the slave mentality were thinking but either had not the guts or the public platform to put it out there.

I am both disenchanted and hopeful if that is possible, that the generations to come will realize that this is destructive and will lead to a different type of slavery.  I hope that our young people will come to realize that an education is a more prized possession than a new Lexus and your education cannot be repossessed.  The barriers are coming down at a tremendous rate, WE HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT!  So don’t tell me what can’t be accomplished, don’t tell me you don’t have a chance to do and be what you want.  Don’t give me excuses.  Being black should mean more to America than rap music, high performing athletes and crime.

Your thoughts…


Crush It!

In Attitudes on January 30, 2010 at 17:32

We sat in the bookstore reading books as if we were at the local library.  I came across one by an author named Gary Vaynerchuk and man he was right on!  He talks about how there is no excuse to be unhappy with your career.  He talks about how you should not do work you don’t have a passion for in the technology age. From his point of view, we can all carve a niche if we have a passion for something.

I have been in Real Estate for 10 years and because of the current state of Real Estate, I have a part time job to help make my ends meet.  I have often told people that for me, the current state of Real Estate has been a strange blessing for me.  I had become burnt out on Real Estate and had started considering a career change.  I sat down one afternoon and wrote a list of things that I felt I could do for free just because I loved those particular things.  After writing this list, I called my best girlfriend in a state of panic because what I’d written was a list that in my opinion said I sucked!  LOL, I had things on there like, I enjoy socializing, talking, buying shoes & purses and other things that I saw as offering no value to anyone.  My girlfriend, who is always the optimist reminded me that Oprah Winfrey makes her living talking and socializing.  While I’m not a follower of Oprah, her point was well made.  According to Gary, I could have a passion for worms and because of that passion, I can find career happiness, I might even end up becoming financially comfortable in the process.  Gary took a liquor store and turned it into a multi-million dollar business.  With his passion and tenacity, he took a no excuses approach to growing his family business & liquor is not a unique commodity so if he can do it, why can’t I?

I have not finished reading the book but the fact that it has inspired me to stay the course with a new venture I am putting together (which incorporates shoes, purses & socializing) I feel success is just one less excuse away.  Thanks Gary even though you have no idea who I am, you have inspired me and I’m sure I’m not alone.

Have you read it?  Your thoughts…

That Bitch Must Think She’s Cute!

In Attitudes on December 31, 2009 at 21:46

I really couldn’t believe my ears when I heard this and once I realized I was the “bitch” in question, I found it comical yet sad.  As the year closes, I ask what can I do to make each day better than the last.  I believe in building, not tearing down.  As I looked the young lady right in the eye after the comment she made that I assume was supposed to be under her breath to her friend, I walked over and complimented her hair.  Afterall, it was cute but not at any time did I ever think that because she had the audacity to put on clean clothes, comb her hair and leave the house that because of doing so she was a “bitch that thought she was cute”.

Now I ask you, what about this outfit screams “I am a bitch”?  The next question is, if I don’t think I’m “cute” who will?  So basically, because this girl was insecure, jealous or just an ignorant person I had to be a bitch.  Needless to say, this was the topic of discussion for my daughter and I as we made our way back to our car.  I am obviously a black woman so when I say this, if you get offended, that’s not my problem, I’m just stating my experience.  I notice that it always seems to be black women that tear me down.  I’ve been told I’m not really black because I speak proper English, I think I’m white because the man in my life is white, that I forgot where I come from because I chose not to raise my kids in the hood.  What the hell?  Wake up America, really!  I speak proper English because I am an American and it is the language I was taught.  I date a white man not because of the color of his skin but because he treats me like I want to be treated, if you’ve seen my children, clearly I have nothing against being with a black man, was married to one for 11 years!  I chose not to raise my kids in the hood because I could afford to do better, perhaps it had something to do with being educated enough to speak the language.  We all have the same opportunities so don’t get mad at me because I decided to pursue a different path than you.  I am not interested in excuses about being poor and from the hood, I grew up an “inner city youth” from Chicago.  I know gang violence and drug addiction and yet I managed to become the “bitch who thinks she’s cute” because I wore a hat? Matched my boots to my sweater?  What was it about me today that said “I’m a bitch who thinks I’m cute?”  Anyone?   Your thoughts….